The things you own end up owning you.

Diary of a Phd (2)

aa28.july 2009

Alas! the cursor is blinking

and me is thinking, thinking and dreaming

how i love to cast away the time when i am supposed to write

but maybe this is my writing style, to cast away, to come back, to write some words and to cast away again. Every Samuria has a sword holding style, and a fundamental point in writing is to create not the writing style per se, but the writing style in essence.

yes back to work now, i have a good idea!

u see it works


July 28, 2009 Posted by | Anlik düsünceler | Leave a comment

Tom Waits makes the long story short

Young Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay) was only 18 years old,
He was the youngest of nine children, never spent a night away from home.
And his mother held his photograph, opening the New York Times
To see the killing has intensified along the road to peace

There was a tall, thin boy with a whispy moustache disguised as an orthodox Jew
On a crowded bus in Jerusalem, some had survived World War Two
And the thunderous explosion blew out windows 200 yards away
With more retribution and seventeen dead along the road to peace

Now at King George Ave and Jaffa Road passengers boarded bus 14a
In the aisle next to the driver Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
And the last thing that he said on earth is “God is great and God is good”
And he blew them all to kingdom come upon the road to peace

Now in response to this another kiss of death was visited upon
Yasser Taha, Israel says is an Hamas senior militant
And Israel sent four choppers in, flames engulfed, tears wide open
And it killed his wife and his three year old child leaving only blackened skeletons

It’s found his toddlers bottle and a pair of small shoes and they waved them in front of the cameras
But Israel says they did not know that his wife and child were in the car
There are roadblocks everywhere and only suffering on TV
Neither side will ever give up their smallest right along the road to peace

Israel launched it’s latest campaign against Hamas on Tuesday
Two days later Hamas shot back and killed five Israeli soldiers
So thousands dead and wounded on both sides most of them middle eastern civilians
They fill the children full of hate to fight an old man’s war and die upon the road to peace

“And this is our land we will fight with all our force” say the Palastinians and the Jews
Each side will cut off the hand of anyone who tries to stop the resistance
If the right eye offends thee then you must pluck it out
And Mahmoud Abbas said Sharon had been lost out along the road to peace

Once Kissinger said “we have no friends, America only has interests”
Now our president wants to be seen as a hero and he’s hungry for re-election
But Bush is reluctant to risk his future in the fear of his political failures
So he plays chess at his desk and poses for the press 10,000 miles from the road to peace

In the video that they found at the home of Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
He held a Kalashnikov rifle and he spoke with a voice like a boy
He was an excellent student, he studied so hard, it was as if he had a future
He told his mother that he had a test that day out along the road to peace

The fundamentalist killing on both sides is standing in the path of peace
But tell me why are we arming the Israeli army with guns and tanks and bullets?
And if God is great and God is good why can’t he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He’s out upon the road to peace

Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
And he’s lost upon the road to peace
And he’s lost upon the road to peace
Out upon the road to peace.

July 24, 2009 Posted by | general politics | Leave a comment


very stange, when the rain begins to plunder iin berlin, quality of the the telephone connection at home deteriorates, reminds me the telephone calls of 1980s  istanbul.

July 24, 2009 Posted by | Anlik düsünceler | Leave a comment

Diary of a Phd

Yeah, I’ve decided to create an online diary of my PhD writing process. Yes, I should admit, I am seven years late to embark on this mission, but alas! the essential point is to have fun while reflecting this tunnel situation.  Yes, I call it the tunnel situation, cause, up until the day you hand in this work, you are going to travel in a dark and long tunnel. of coursse subjectively thinking and exagerrating. it will stick on your mind and sometimes you may feel yourself like Raskolnikov, obsessed about a certain topic which turns in your head like a hamster turnin in a sad and miserable wheel 🙂 yes, this is the negative interpretation of the process. let me introduce the positive interpretation as well. you will learn everyday something new, and molecularly you will realise that your brain expands in all dimensions. the things you thought at the begining will change during the journey. like a papillon collector, you will come across to new species, wonderful butterflies 🙂

yes, for today this is enough.

July 22, 2009 Posted by | Anlik düsünceler | Leave a comment

Can Yücel’den bir siir

can_yucelCAN YÜCEL


Farkı fark etmeli, fark ettiğini de fark ettirmemeli bazen…

Bir damlacık sudan nasıl yaratıldığını fark etmeli.

Anne karnına sığarken dünyaya neden sığmadığını ve en sonunda bir metre karelik yere nasıl sığmak zorunda kalacağını fark etmeli.

Şu çok geniş görünen dünyanın, ahirete nispetle anne karnı gibi olduğunu fark etmeli.

Henüz bebekken ‘Dünya benim!’ dercesine avuçlarının sımsıkı kapalı olduğunu, ölürken de aynı avuçların ‘her şeyi bırakıp gidiyorum işte!’ dercesine apaçık kaldığını fark etmeli.

Ve kefenin cebinin bulunmadığını fark etmeli.

Baskın yeteneğini fark etmeli sonra.

Azrailin her an sürpriz yapabileceğini, nasıl yaşarsa öyle öleceğini fark etmeli insan.

Hayvanların yolda, kaldırımda, çöplükte ama kendisinin güzel hazırlanmış mükellef bir sofrada yemek yediğini fark etmeli.

Yaratılmışların en güzeli olduğunu fark etmeli ve ona göre yaşamalı.

Gülün hemen dibindeki dikeni, dikenin hemen yanı başındaki gülü fark etmeli.

Evinde kedi, köpek beslediği halde çocuk sahibi olmaktan korkmanın mantıksızlığını fark etmeli.

Eşine ‘seni çok seviyorum!’ demenin mutluluk yolundaki müthiş gücünü fark etmeli.

Dolabında asılı 25 gömleğinin sadece üçünü giydiğini ama arka sokaktaki komşusunun o beğenilmeyen gömleklere muhtaç olduğunu fark etmeli.

Zenginliğin ve bereketin, sofradayken önünde biriken ekmek kırıntılarını yemekte gizlendiğini fark etmeli.

Annesinden doğarken tertemiz teslim aldığı gırtlağını ve aşırı beslenme yüzünden sarkan göbeğini fark etmeli.

Fark etmeliyiz çok geç olmadan…..

Ömür dediğin üç gündür,dün geldi geçti, yarın meçhuldür…

O halde ömür dediğin bir gündür, o da bugündür….

July 22, 2009 Posted by | Cult Figures of My Time | Leave a comment

Some Paragraphs from Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road”

DSCF5727 Some of my favourite lines from the Book:

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars, and in the middle, you see the blue center-light pop, and everybody goes ahh…”

“what we need is a drink!” yelled Rickey, and off we went to a crossroads saloon. Americans are always drinking in crossroads saloons on Sunday afternoon; they bring their kids; they gabble and brawl over brews; everything’s fine. Come nightfall the kids start crying and the parents are drunk….This is we did. Rickey and I and Ponzo and Terry sat drinking and shouting with the music; little baby Johnny goofed with other children around the jukebox. The sun began to get red. Nothing had been accomplished. What was there to accomplish? ‘Manana’ said Rickey. ‘Manana man, we make it; have another beer, man, dah you go, dah you go!”

I especially like this paragraph, what a nice way to describe the temptation of deferring things 🙂

July 6, 2009 Posted by | Books | Leave a comment